If she were still here this day would be filled with phone calls from friends and family wishing her their best and in some cases reminding her that she is old now. Aaron would have decorated the house the night before with the same "Happy Birthday" streamers and balloons that we've used for every birthday for the past 30 years. I would have previously done all of the birthday shopping and wrapping and hidden the presents somewhere in the house. My mom would have a relaxing day, maybe go to Sundance for lunch with Nancy or get a massage, or possibly both.
We would be going to Teppankyaki or Outback for dinner and probably stuff ourselves to the max. After trying to catch flaming hot shrimp in our mouths we would waddle to the car and drive ourselves home just to indulge further in the birthday celebration. Home would be filled with jamoca almond fudge ice cream cake from Baskin Robbin's, my dad humming a key so we could pretend to be even remotely good at singing "Happy Birthday", Diane would be with us (it's never a real bday without Diane), candles would be blown out, a wish made and presents would be opened. As part of our family tradition, the birthday cards would be selected previously with great care, a funny and slightly inappropriate card always goes a long way in the Gardner household. Andrew and I would have gotten her something cute that she wanted from Nordstrom, a purse, a cute top, or shoes. Aaron would have gotten her a book or a movie as per request and my dad would have gotten her an iPad. (We can dream right?)
Jared, Rose and Tyler (and Mason!) would call around this time to sing her "Happy Birthday" and she'd probably get teary and that would remind us all why birthday's are so happy. Smiles, laughter and "love you, Happy Birthday mom"s would fill the entire house and we would all be content.
To calm our bulging stomachs we would pull out her photo albums and force my mom to tell us about each photo in detail; who she was with, what they were doing, how old she was...and she would answer every question with a glimmer of nostalgia in her eyes. Reluctantly, the stories would stop, heavy eyelids would force Andrew and I to drive back to SLC and we would leave with lots of hugs, "I love you"s and everyone walking us to our car to wave us goodbye as we drive away.
I wish things were different. Daydreaming about it is fun though. Fun in a "cry my eyes out" sort of way but still has it's moments of fun. I can picture exactly what she would look like and her expressions. Her huge smile while we sing happy birthday even though we are so off key and the start of a tear when Tyler proudly tells her all about the present he made her.
It's been 2 and a half years. Sometimes it feels like an eternity and sometimes it feels so raw. Today it just feels raw. This helps though
Until we meet again mom, I am so grateful for you.
I can picture this perfectly. I am so grateful that I was able to be around for some of the infamous Gardner birthday bashes. You must keep those decorations, it would never be the same without them! and the bawling, its normal. I'm crying right now in fact.
We might have gone on a ride with our ATVs and got all dusty. But we would be smiling all the way. I miss riding the beautiful trails with the Gardner clan. Hope We can do that again some day. Thanks your entry brings the memories flooding in. I miss visiting with Vickie just about every day. We had so much fun just talking or watching a video. Miss you and Andrew too and Aaron and Jared and Rose and the boys and Kim. We need some new good times too. I am can mix up the Lungo spaghetti sauce some time when everyone is in town. Love to all of you.
The purpose of this blog is to bring us all together like my mom did to celebrate our own lives. That was her message and her mantra for the last 5 or so years of her life and I want that to continue with her legacy. Please feel free to post your own stories, memories, feelings, announcements, likes/dislikes, etc. This isn't suppost to be a cryfest all the time, even though it could be :) My mom wouldn't want us to be like that. We're here to remember the good times, celebrate the now and have a good cry every now and then. Love you lots!!!
I can picture this perfectly. I am so grateful that I was able to be around for some of the infamous Gardner birthday bashes. You must keep those decorations, it would never be the same without them! and the bawling, its normal. I'm crying right now in fact.
ReplyDeleteWe might have gone on a ride with our ATVs and got all dusty. But we would be smiling all the way. I miss riding the beautiful trails with the Gardner clan. Hope
ReplyDeleteWe can do that again some day. Thanks your entry brings the memories flooding in. I miss visiting with Vickie just about every day. We had so much fun just talking or watching a video. Miss you and Andrew too and Aaron and Jared and Rose and the boys and Kim. We need some new good times too. I am can mix up the Lungo spaghetti sauce some time when everyone is in town. Love to all of you.