my lovely Diane

Yesterday was my little brother's 20th bday. I love him so much. He's too strong willed for his own good at times but I am proud of him. My mom loved her baby. He was such a handful growing up but always the life of the party, or in this case family. He's currently at Utah Valley University taking business classes and loving it. He's an adventure seeker, one of my best friends and the sweetest. But this post isn't about Aaron, I did a whole post on him on my other blog. You can read it at Aaron's bday post. This post is about Diane.

Diane has been a part of my family for longer than she hasn't. She is our honorary aunt and she lost her dear friend and roommate, Myrna, on Thursday. This is a humbling time. It brought back so many memories of a time of heartbreak. Diane was one of many who took care of me and my family while my mom was sick and after she passed away. Diane and I had weekly dates where we'd go to dinner and see a movie or something. She has one of the kindest hearts that I know and is just the sweetest. She cried with me when I needed someone and always made me feel better. She flew out to Cleveland with me to help me find an apartment. She was always present at family functions be it movie night, birthdays, holidays and for no special reason at all. My mom loved Diane so much. They were each other's cheerleaders. Diane used to make us her secret family recipe of spaghetti dinner and it blew all of our minds and then some. What would I do without Diane?

I feel so useless here in Cleveland while Diane is going through this process once again. I should be there to help her like she helped me.

But I'm here, in the Cleve, with a sore throat and clogged sinuses. boo.

I love you Diane. You are amazing and I am so grateful for you.

All my love and prayers are coming your way.

babies?

I have been very anti having a baby since Andrew and I got married, scared to death to be quite frank.

But lately, I don't know what is happening to me but I am really getting into this whole baby thing. I know that I'm partially terrified that I don't have my mom to turn to anymore when I can't figure out when the "dang thing won't stop crying" or when I am at my wits end changing poopy diapers and waking up every 2 hours. That I'm not so excited for.

But I'm just barely getting to the point where having a baby doesn't trigger my fight or flight reflex.

Over Christmas break I talked to my dear friends about how they want babies, went to a baby shower for Lisa Michelle aka the cutest mom to be I have ever seen, hung out with my neices and nephews and what do you know...something changed. I now look at baby quilts for no reason whatsoever. Like this one which I need right now. Sarah can you please use your amazing quilting skills to make this for my future baby? I'm begging you!

My cousin posted this from a friend's website and I thought it was hilarious, thanks Violet!

Thinking of having kids? Do this 11 step program first

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.


This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
 
oh the joys that lie ahead.

Christmas

My mom made the holidays. If you ever spent a holiday with her you will know what I mean. She made the holidays so special. It's not Christmas without you mom.

Christmas 2006

 My dad has done a great job (with a little encouraging from me) since my mom passed away and I'm grateful for that. My mom was very good at giving gifts and I'm trying to keep up with her standard. We never got a ton of stuff but she tried her best to get us great gifts every year. I started doing all of her Christmas shopping the year she was diagnosed. She would come up with the ideas and I was given the credit card and sent on my merry way. I loved helping her and making her feel like she was still the Queen of Christmas. Even for our last Christmas together I thought that I had done all of the shopping but she had her elves (my Auntie V and Kathy) go shopping so I would be surprised by at least a few things. That meant a lot to me since I hadn't received a Christmas present that I hadn't picked out for myself in about 5 years.

Christmas 2008

This year I was trying to figure out what gifts to give everyone. Here's what we've come up with so far:

A turtle for Andrew's youngest brother, James. Totally Andrew's idea but I love it.

Personalized family descendant tree for my Grandpa Howerton. Found here on etsy.com.

Personalized thumbprint family descendant tree for Grandma and Grandpa Gardner.

Found here on esty.com.

Gift card for Jared, Rose and Tyler. They took us to this place over Thanksgiving. It was heaven.

Here's their website.

We're doing service for the missionaries this year for Martsie and Dennis. We love our missionaries!

Now for Aaron and my Dad I have NO idea! What shall a girl do?

The rest must remain a secret so I don't give anything away.

Merry Christmas from us here in the Cleve!!!

ralphie!

This was me about 30 minutes ago while taking Kipling for a walk. It's FREEZING here!!! According to the always truthful weather.com it is currently 29 degrees with a high of freezing. Lovely.

After my "i hate everything" post things started looking up, thank goodness. I like my job even though I get paid nothing and Thanksgiving was a success. Andrew and I drove the 9.5 hours to Raleigh with the pup in the back seat only to have a constant party for 5 days and turn around and come back. It was so fun seeing everyone again and Rose and Jared cooked a mean Thanksgiving feast. I haven't eaten that well in a long time. Needless to say I did not want to return to the bitter chill of the Cleve.

Things went well with my dad. He never brought up our incident and was just plain happy to have his family all together. He got a lot of Grandpa time with his biggest fan, Tyler, and even wrestled with his furry little grandson, my pup, more than a few times. I declare that Thanksgiving 2010 was a success! We'll see how Christmas goes.

Speaking of Christmas. I have to figure out how to fit everything into 6 days and a tiny carryon bag.

oy vey.

a funk

be forwarned, I am in a funk...

Will Bansky-Nola

My dad and I got into a fight last week.

He mentioned that he wanted to bring his new girlfriend to Raleigh for Thanksgiving and I told him that I wasn't comfortable with her coming. He said that I wasn't supporting him, didn't want him to move on and that he can't live his life for me.

He also said, and I quote, "I want her to meet Jared, Rose and Tyler in case we get married this winter."
At that point I checked out. I was done talking to him about it and I said, and I quote, "I've got to go dad, I just finished making dinner." Mature.

That night I got a text from him saying, "Kristine will not be coming to Raleigh". Thank Jared and Rose.

The next evening he called to see when we were planning on arriving so he could book the hotel. I asked him if he was okay and he said that he was disappointed in me.

For what exactly? Because I didn't want a stranger that my dad has been dating for 2 and a half months to come and have Thanksgiving dinner at my brother and sister's house when she may be out of our lives by Christmas? Great, here we go.

It then became a crying/yelling/silent treatment phone conversation for about 40 minutes. The crying was exclusively on my end and the silent treatment was from my dad's end but the yelling came from both ends. We were not happy with one another.

I just feel like my dad is trying to force all of these relationships with these ladies. He jumps head first into it and doesn't come up for air even once. It was like this when he started dating Denise 4 months after my mom died. 4 months!!! I didn't even put up a fight then. I remember the conversation vividly. I was driving to Andrew's softball game on a warm summer evening (I even remember the jeans that I was wearing, weird) when my dad called and told me that he had gone on a date the past weekend with a lady he works with. I wasn't ready for him to start dating but I realized that he was so I told him that I supported him dating. Plain and simple. I support him and I want him to be happy. I was still grieving but we all grieve at different speeds and I didn't question his speed.

To defend my dad he has the emotional capacity of a sea anemone. He's always been this way, not that it's right, but I've had to deal with it my whole life. I know that he can't be wrong or disagreed with. I know that he won't listen to me explain my feelings and probably ignores about 75% of what I say. I don't know why he is this way but he is and I have to deal with it. I've tried pretty much everything I can think of to get him to take what I say seriously and nothing works.

For example, the summer after my mom passed I was helping my dad put some things that were in storage on craigslist. Andrew and I were measuring, taking pictures and writing descriptions when I mentioned to my dad that I was going to get my mom's saddles and tack out of his way and take them to the ranch. He immediately said that I couldn't take them because he was going to sell them because he needed the money. When I objected he told me that I was being a spoiled brat and throwing a fit because I didn't get my way. Nice dad, love you too.

He eventually "gave" them to me for my birthday even though it was in my mom's will that I got them.

I feel bad for putting this out here for all eyes to read but I've got to vent. I don't have my mom to go to about these things anymore. I did get to talk to Jared and Rose about it and that was sooo needed. They are so wonderful!

Needless to say, because of this episode (and not getting enough sleep because of the new pup), I am in a funk. Instead of being excited that I got a job, I cried. I'm having a hard time being my happy old self, I'm impatient with Andrew and everything seems gray. No neons, no excitement just...blah.

Is it really that bad that I don't want to meet my dad's new girlfriend this Thanksgiving? No, it's not, and I know that but the guilt trip that he puts me through kills me. You want to make me feel bad, make me feel guilty. He hit that bullseye dead on. Thanks dad.

Luckily I'm taking a break from it all in a week and going to visit my Grandpa, Aunt Valerie and Uncle Joe. This couldn't have come at a better time.

P.S. I love my dad very much even though we disagree and I do hope that he finds someone that will make him happy. Thank you for listening to me rant, I needed this.

On a better note, I love this song.

what's in a name?

To keep myself busy here in the Cleve I have started a little babysitting/cleaning business. Our ward has almost 100 children in it right now and about that many adults too. It's awesome. I've never been in a louder sacrament meeting before and strangely enough I don't mind the noise.

I've been surrounded by kids almost every day of my life here and that, my friends, will get anyone to think about having (or not having) babies.

Andrew and I have already chosen our kid's names. Everytime I tell someone what we are going to name our first boy I get this response, "Really? He better be prepared to be teased." And to them I say, "If he can hack it in our household, nothing will phase him." My kids better learn how to deal with teasing real quick with a dad like theirs.

Andrew is very similar to his dad and has inherited his ability to tease. To explain how much they tease in the Webb household I have exhibit A:

Andrew, a bright eyed 16 year old, is getting ready for one of his first girl choice dances. He is going with the babe of Olympus High and can't be happier. He has his outfit all planned out, showered and is looking fine with his puka shell necklace and skate shoes. Andrew hears the doorbell ring and someone answers the door. His mom calls for him and he takes one last look in the mirror before he heads down to see his lady. By then the rest of his family has congregated to meet this girl and as Andrew comes down the stairs his dad takes one look at him and says, in front of everyone,

"What's going on? You got bees in your room?" (refering to Andrew's teenage acne)

Yes my friends, that really did happen. And the great thing is, Andrew laughed it off as best he could. I'm sure our kids when they reach that precious hormonally challanged age will have similar experiences that one day, when the pain is gone and therapy has prevailed, they will relate to their own children.

We have decided to do significant historical figures mostly for first names and family names for middle names.

So Parley Dennis will be our first boy. After Parley P. Pratt, a Mormon historical and religious figure. Andrew has made me promise to read Parley P. Pratt's autobiography while I am pregnant with little Parley. And Dennis after Andrew's dad, of course.

Since Andrew chose the first boy name I have chosen the first girl name: Siena Victoria.
Siena after the Tuscan city (this one doesn't quite fit the requirements but I do what I want) and Victoria for my mom.

Those two are pretty much set names, the rest are all up in the air but the middle names are for sures.

Sawyer Anthony: for Tom Sawyer, the all American boy, and Anthony after my dad and his father.
Quincy after Quincy Adams, John Adams' son.
Andrew also likes cowboys names like Wyatt, Chick Boudry, Louie Lamore or Montana but I do have my limits.
Holland Martsie: After Jeffrey R. Holland, the LDS apostle, and Martsie after Andrew's mom.
Eve after Eve.

Why am I telling you all of this?
Because Andrew is studying for midterms, wish him luck!
Plus, I love names and I love knowing where they come from.

I was named after my dad's mom, Crystal, and my mom's great aunt, Rose, and I love it!

Where does your name or your spouse's/children's names come from?

Hi my name is Krystal and I'm an addict

Last Saturday was the Kirtland Stake Women's Conference. I don't think I've ever been to a stake women's conference before and decided to try it out. I didn't know what to expect and luckily 3 other girls in the ward came with me. I probably wouldn't have gone otherwise, let's be honest. So the theme was families, nothing out of the ordinary there. Everything in the Church is about families right?

Yup.

So they had a lady give a presentation. Her name is Melinda Cummings Cameron, her dad was this guy

Bob Cummings. He was an actor in the 50's-70's and had his own prime time tv show. He's also in a Hitchcock film Andrew and I recently Netflixed Saboteur. (I fell asleep halfway through, it was that great)

Anywho, the conference was all about finding stories of your ancestors. After the presentation we got to choose different breakout sessions. One was to get signed up for the Church geneology website so I did that. I've never really been too into family history but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Was it a good idea you may ask?

I'm addicted. Fully addicted. Who would have thought that I would be addicted to family history? Not I. But alas, here we are, my name is Krystal and I'm an addict.

The website is new.familysearch.org and it is a party.

I love you

As a good wife would do, I also got Andrew addicted last night. He found out that he has noble blood on his dad's side. Sir Henry Alexander Webb was given nobility by King Henry VIII in 1577, you will all now refer to me as Countess Krystal Webb.





 And we found out that he's related to William Shakespeare by marriage. Seriously though, how cool is this?!

On my side there are some pretty awesome things too...I'm related to Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain and Anne Hutchinson, a very prominent religious figure during the 1600's.

can't you just see the resemblence?

I love this, finding out where my family came from and who they are/who I am. If you haven't done it you can become addicted too. All the cool kids are doing it. It's free and so easy to sign up. The website pretty much does all the work for you. Here's what my family tree looks like as of right now, I still need to put my mom's dad's side of the family in.

 and it just keeps going and going and going, like a little engergizer bunny.

Sort of.